I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
