I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Watching her eat just hurts me
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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