We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
one two three fourrrrnication!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
