All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
