I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
