I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
