Porn is love you can see.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
