Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
