i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
