I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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