Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
