Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize