last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
