Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize