I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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