hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize