His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
