Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
