i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
