another moral hangover. fuck.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
