just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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