someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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