I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
