in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You don't make any sense
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