just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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