Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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