OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
