TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
