This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
