We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
