I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
