Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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