The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
