Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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