I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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