I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
