I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
