i think my tv is drunk
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
