Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
