i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is Oprah even human
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
