VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm passing your future prison.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
