Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
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The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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