doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
