You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
