i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
