Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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