Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
