this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
