just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
