Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
