Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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