Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
