how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
