just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We don't watch enough power rangers
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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