Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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