no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i dont even know how to be here
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
