i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
