So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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