You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
